(Part 1), (Part 2), (Part 3), (Part 4), (Part 5)

My eyes averted from the flat screen, and I draped a hand over my eyes. Somehow I managed to lose myself in a television program about the relationships of penguins in the Antarctic. Feathery chicks waddled across the screen with their wings spread out, prompting Alba to ignore the pacifier in her mouth as she pointed to the screen and cried out a joyful “Ping!” from her blanket on the floor. The three dogs scattered on the love seat nearby all raised their ears but quickly grew disinterested when she didn’t have a treat or food in her hand.

I shifted on the couch cushion for a little more comfort, absentmindedly placing my hand on my stomach. It’d been two days since the startling revelation that I might be pregnant, yet I hadn’t done a thing about it. Naturally at first, I was panicked, so panicked I considered calling home at one time, but I was quick to realize there would be no one there to help me. I cancelled on my plans with Sergio. I avoided Alvaro at all costs. Confiding in Carlota was out of the question, and Esteban would be traumatized if he found out. I could only let time pass me by, which was probably the worst thing I could do in my situation. 

Alba toddled over carrying her baby doll under one arm. She managed to remove her fingers from her mouth long enough to hold out the doll to show me.

“Is that your baby, Alba?” I asked now that she had my full attention.

“Bebé,” she uttered through her pacifier before she cradled her doll and hugged it tighter.

“You’re a sweet girl, you know that?” I reached out to fluff out her frilly skirt so light wisps of air tickled on her legs. She then scurried away from me, giggling as she circled the round table on the journey back to her blanket.

A pang of despair hit me as I slumped against the back cushion like a rag doll. Cabin fever was setting in. I wanted to go out, but I felt bloated my favorite pair of jeans. That is, until they turned their shape on me and became the most uncomfortable jeans I ever owned and made me struggle not to curse under my breath with Alba in the room.

Just when sitting alone in a dark movie theater started to sound appealing, my phone received a text. I stopped feeling sorry for myself to answer it. Sergio’s name flashed on the screen with the worlds Feel better in the conversation box, followed by a question mark shortly after. My thumbs hovered over the keys while I contemplated a reply. 

We ended up texting each other back and forth until Carlota and Alvaro came in through the front door. Three rambunctious pugs bumbled the kitchen to the foyer in record time. When they came into view again, they were investigating the contents to various bags Carlota toted inside with their black squished noses.

“Nicolette, mira, look at this!” Carlota, jovial as ever, carelessly piled a majority of the designer bags on a nearby love seat with the exception of one she brought over to the armrest beside me. She mimicked a drumroll by tapping her feet on the floor for the big reveal, and she whipped out a lavish, tan trench jacket, holding it out over her arm for me to see.

“Wow,” I breathed, not taking my eyes off the garment when I stood up to get a better look at it. Normally I didn’t care much for extravagant items if I knew I could get something similar for less money, but from the feminine silhouette down to the cute but unnecessary belt, this held my attention like no other.

“Do you like it?” she asked.

“It’s absolutely gorgeous.” At that same moment, I noticed Alvaro had stopped along the path to the kitchen, and he was watching us. Although it was bittersweet to part with the jacket so soon, I took a light step backwards from Carlota, my arms folding tight across my chest. “I mean, I’m sure you’ll look great in it.”

She glared quizzically. “That’s nice of you to say. I thought about the black or the white, but Alvaro insisted—”

“Papá! Papá!” I heard Alba exclaim softly in the midst of our conversation. When I glanced in Alvaro’s direction, she was tugging—almost climbing—on his pant leg for him to pick her up. He had a grocery bag on one arm, but he was able to scoop her up without a problem. They went into the kitchen together, and he sat her up on the counter while he unloaded the groceries, giving her an unpeeled banana to play with.

When I focused back on Carlota, she was still going on about the jacket.

“…Anyway, I thought once we start clearing out the closets around here, you could have my brown leather jacket. You know, the one I wore last winter with the side zipper?” She folded the trench jacket back into the bag, never to be seen again in such a pristine state. 

“That’s sweet, Carlota. Thank you,” I smiled, somewhat melancholy.

“You won’t be going anywhere near my clothes,” Alvaro stated approaching us with Alba.

“We do this every year, Alvaro. I bought you some new dress shirts, and you will wear them,” Carlota said. More scornful things were muttered in Spanish afterwards as she collected the loud crinkly bags off the couch.

Shifting Alba on his arm, he propped his hand on his hip. “Que gracioso, mi amor. I heard that.”

“Good. It was my intention for you to hear it.” She flashed an arrogant smirk at her husband before gliding towards the staircase.

Not wanting to be around Alvaro longer than I needed to be, I trailed Carlota from behind into the foyer without so much as a double take.

“Carlota, I should get going. I sort of had plans.”

“Plans? Plans with who?” She stalled on the first step, suddenly interested.

I shrugged my shoulders, avoiding the subject. “May I go?” 

“Sure.” A small frown hinted on her lips, but her recovery was fast. “We have to go out again soon, but we can bring her with us. I can’t seem to find a proper dresser to match the bed frame in the guest bedroom, it’s ridiculous!”

Carlota began to ascend up the stairs. I thought I was of the hook until I swung around and nearly collided with Alvaro and Alba blocking the front door. I let out a short gasp, clutching the fabric on my shirt where my heart was.

“God forbid the wood does not match the rest of the furniture in that room. My mother in law will throw a massive fit, no?” His gaze pointed to the stairs and then softened back on mine.

“I heard that!” Carlota shouted from the top of the stairs. “And don’t think she won’t, Alvaro!”

His smirk faded once the thumping upstairs proceeded to get quieter and quieter. Alba cooed while we waited for the coast to be clear, and I swear in that time he snuck a look at my stomach, which was no different than two days ago.

“Can we talk, please?” he whispered urgently.

“What is there to talk about? There’s nothing to talk about.” I was calm maneuvering past him.

“Nothing,” he echoed. “Are you sure?”

Hand on the doorknob, I stopped to roll my eyes and heave a helpless sigh. “I don’t know.”

“Wait right here. I’ll be right back.” He gestured a pointed index finger for me to wait, adjusted Alba at his side, and rushed as fast as he could upstairs with a baby on him. 

Alba extended her arm out to wave me goodbye, her little hand opening and closing like a tiny crab pincer. I made sure to wave back even if she didn’t see. Once Alvaro had gone, I opened the door anyway to the sunlit front steps.

I sat stretched out with my phone at my side and my toes warming on the pavement. Several minutes seemed to pass until Alvaro found me there. He seemed flustered that I didn’t stay where he left me, but he didn’t mention anything about it. All I needed to hear was the half growl, half sigh emitted from his throat before he shut the door from the inside. The pavement crackled beneath his shoes as he walked over and crouched next to me. I sat upright, wiping any scattered pebbles sticking on my palms, before I discovered he was fumbling with a pink narrow box in his hand. Eventually he just hurled it at me as if he thought I knew how to handle it better than he did. The pregnancy test clunked around inside the box as I used two fingers to pick it up like it was diseased.

“What the hell, Alvaro?” I asked.

“We need to face this head on, Nic, not wait around like we’ve been doing,” he explained. 

“Where did you even get this? Someone could’ve seen you.”

“No one saw me. Carlota had a few left over from when we were trying to conceive Alba—”

I flung it into his lap, not wanting anything to do with it. “Say no more. Put it back.”

“Dios,” he groaned. “She won’t notice any of them are missing if that’s what you’re worried about. I’ve tested myself once or twice…or three…”

I shot him a side glare. He was trying his best to humor me, yet I failed to see the charm in that grin of his for once. It was obnoxious. Even more so when he slid the box so it pressed against the side of my leg.

“We need to see what steps we have to take next.” 

“You mean what steps I have to take next,” I reiterated and shoved the box near him. “Please don’t bother. I bought one already.”

His brow furrowed. “What do you mean? Why haven’t you taken it yet?”

“I’ll do it when I’m ready.” I fitted on my ballet flats, tucked my phone into my front pocket, and stood up. He wasn’t far behind.

“I hate this,” he murmured, a hand over his mouth and rubbing the stubble around his jaw.

“Me too,” I exhaled, tilting back somewhat and listened for any sounds I thought I might’ve heard from down the drive. “I just need to clear my head a little before I do it.”

“I want to be there when you do.”

“I don’t think I can pee with an audience.”

“Trust me, it’s easier than you think.”

For the first time in a while, we smiled at each other. My side bumped against his on purpose, and he retaliated in the same playful manner. Our innocent child’s play was only temporary when a breeze shook the leaves, and we both spotted Sergio’s white car in contrast to the green shrubbery, weaving along the path to pull up at the front of the house. One thing was different: no booming bass to split my eardrums as I approached the car with ease.

“How do you do that?” Alvaro frowned as though he’d never seen a car in his driveway before.

“Pure skill,” I quipped.

“Qué pasa espartano?” Sergio, wearing his hair tied back and a pair of reflective aviators, had gotten out to open the door for me. I hated that I couldn’t see the true reaction in his eyes when they scanned my tight jeans and faded t-shirt over. “You look very nice, Nicolette.”

I cocked my head to the side ready to utter a snide comment, but his lips unexpectedly hit my cheek in a sweet and tender kiss, not a customary greeting. My cheek was still warm afterwards as I lowered myself into the passenger seat. 

Alvaro stood back holding his tongue like a concerned parent, possibly a possessive boyfriend. At this point, I didn’t know which.

—

“You’re younger than I thought you were.”

A school of fish amongst other colorful aquatic life swam over our heads in the crisp blue water of the wall to wall display. The usual crowd at the aquarium was significantly absent in the afternoon, so we had the entire exhibit to ourselves with the exception of a few stragglers. I didn’t know why Sergio chose to take me to the aquarium, but he had the right idea of hanging out in a dark room somewhere. Despite a select few employees asking for autographs upon arrival, our presence went unnoticed most of the time we were there. We settled on one of the benches aligned to the middle of the large tank, which cast a romantic blue hue over both our faces while we made lighthearted small talk in front of the fish.

“You say it like it’s a bad thing.” I looked at him.

“No.” He shook his head, smiling.

“I’ll be twenty two next month. Is that old enough for you?”

“That’s not what I am saying…”

“Of course I’ll appear middle aged by then since you think I look older than I am now.”

His hand cupping over my mouth told me right away that I was rambling on too much. Incidentally, this wasn’t the first time I’d been called out on it, so I wasn’t caught off guard. Not seconds after, he moved his hand. It caressed up the line of my cheekbone, down my neck, and finally landed close to my hand between us.

“You act more mature than other girls your age is what I meant,” he said.

I nodded understandably as a tiger shark floated by, exposing its spotted sides to us.

“My mom left us when I was four, so I kind of had to adapt. Not my choice.”

His voice fell solemn. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

“It’s not a big deal.” I wrinkled my nose. “I was raised between a nanny and a stepmother, so I think I turned out all right. When Deidra was pregnant, I prayed for a sister even though I knew that’s not how it worked. Then Eli came along, and I just accepted that I would be stuck with three brothers growing up.”

“Wow,” he chuckled.

“It wasn’t so bad,” I reckoned.

“Feel free to borrow my sister,” he offered.

“Yeah, what’s her deal?” I asked on a lighter note.

“Qué es?”

“Well from the one time I was graced around her presence, wasn’t she was the one hurling insults at you left and right if I remember correctly?”

“That’s Miri for you. That’s my family.” He tediously pieced his hair behind his ear even though there was nothing to fix. “We do that. Es el amor, we all love each other.”

“I could never,” I pondered aloud.

“You don’t call your brothers names?” he asked as if it was completely normal.

“We’re a little more reserved than that, my family…” I informed him. My eyes fixated upwards to see if I could make out the surface above the tank, lips parted and ready for a random thought bubble so we wouldn’t have to sit in uncomfortable silence. “Did you know female penguins are resorting to prostitution because of a pebble shortage in the Antarctic?”

When I looked back at him again, his expression was a mixture of confusion and amusement. He didn’t say a thing. I wasn’t sure if it meant he didn’t understand or I should elaborate further, but my first instinct was the latter. 

“They need pebbles to build their nests,” I began, a conscientious voice inside my head begging me to shut up as fast as I started. “They form a courtship with a single male penguin, and they collect the pebbles when they’re done. Their life mates never find out. I watched it on a documentary before we came here. It’s mind-boggling how human-like they can be at times.”

“I guess I can believe it,” Sergio replied cooly, though his eyebrows were raised and suggested otherwise. He must’ve thought I was crazy.

“Oh my god, you’re freaking, aren’t you?” I hid my face in my hands.

“No, no, no.” He grabbed both my wrists and held them. The area around them became tingly when his thumbs stroked over my skin, and he scooted a little so he was closer than before.

“Are you sure?” I asked, searching his umber eyes for reassurance.

In an unsuccessful attempt at being serious, a wide grin stretched on his lips. “Actually, yes, I take back everything I said before about you being mature.”

“Shut up.” I play punched his hard thigh. Unfortunately hanging around men for most of my life didn’t give me the advantage of making it count. Sergio was shocked anyway nonetheless, and he tried getting back at me by feeling around my sides for my most ticklish spot. 

No combination of high pitched squeaks and wiggling could get me out of this one. He was way too strong. I even curled my legs up in the space between us to help push him away, but he already had something else up his sleeve. I’d be lying if I didn’t expect it to lead up to this moment, where everything slowed down and we were able to absorb our tranquil surroundings. Date or not (neither of us said which), I’d forgotten all about how miserable I was earlier. I was having fun.

Therefore I wasn’t taken by surprise when he kissed me gingerly on the lips.

Overall the kiss was short but sweet. His lips were thicker, more luscious, compared to mine, but I made sure he knew I kissed back. He put his hand in my hair as he drew my face nearer to his when it was over.

“Do you want to walk around?” he asked, the corner of his mouth pulling a smirk. “We can go see the penguins if you’d like.”

Shaking my head, I positioned myself so my back partially nestled against his front and his arm was draped over my shoulder. Our audience of fish had not stopped drifting, and my world began to spin again.

“I’m fine right here.”

—

Sergio shifted the car into park once we pulled up on the driveway. We were back at Alvaro and Carlota’s again. Dusk steadied itself on the horizon. Lights from the inside were already illuminating the outside of the house, yet there were no signs of anybody on the lookout for us to come back. I clicked my seatbelt off and let it slip past my shoulders. Sergio fidgeted with his phone, pant leg, whatever else until his gaze rested on mine. 

“You’re nervous,” I speculated.

“No, I’m not,” he laughed.

“Yes, you are. I make you nervous now!”

“I had a good time,” he said, “better than I thought I would.”

“Me too.” I bit my lip. “Thank you for getting me out of the house. I really needed it.”

“It’s no problem. I wanted to see you again.” 

He leaned over to my side of the vehicle. I leaned into what I figured to be another goodbye kiss on the cheek, at least it started out that way. Within a matter of seconds, my lips were back on Sergio’s for a second time. It felt natural kissing him but also very reserved, my fault more than his since Alvaro’s front door was right there. Sergio didn’t have the slightest idea about Alvaro, so I had to put the brakes on when things got a little bit heavy.

“So, um…” I pressed my lips to moisten them when reality set in and we broke apart from each other, “Carlota’s been really persistent and all with setting me up with tons of different guys, but I haven’t had the heart to tell her what I’m about to tell you.”

He looked directly into my eyes, oblivious. “What is it?”

“I’m not looking for anything serious right now,” I hesitated to say but found myself somewhat relieved his reaction didn’t change.

“Neither am I.” His mouth brushed against my lips, asking them to part.

—

There was no one waiting to lecture me when I entered the guest house and flicked on the lights. I heaved a lengthy sigh, kicking off my shoes, as the events of the day caught up with me in a fuzzy head rush. The thoughts and worries I had were still in tact though they’d diminished somewhat, so I assumed it was just low blood sugar. Locking the door just in case someone would burst in unannounced, I then headed towards the kitchen to kick start off a night of eating pasta and watching bad TV alone.

The next morning, I got my period.